Have you ever heard someone say that sex is power? Well in a sense I believe it is. It’s the power of knowledge. As I have said in many of my previous posts, it is imperative to teach children about sex. It’s uncomfortable and every parent dreads it, but it’s necessary. The age at which a young woman has sex is far beyond parental or societal control. So it’s best that they just learn what they can about it. Sexuality is a woman’s birth right. To explore her sexuality is also her right, and it is how she will gain her knowledge and self-identity.
Rebecca Walker wrote an article about her first experience with sex when she was eleven years old. She admits that she’s a little embarrassed about the age, but it gave her knowledge and power. After gaining her first experience so young, she had called herself an expert by the time she was eighteen. She changed her persona with each man she would meet to be exactly who they would want her to be, so she could get them to sleep with her. She called this her chameleon-like identity. She said “you could never be sure of who was going to like you and why, so I tried my best to control the parts I could”
Walker realized though, that this wasn’t what made her happy. She wrote “I wasn’t happy faking orgasms (self-deceit for male ego) or worrying about getting pregnant (unprotected ignorance) or having urinary tract infections (victim of pleasure) or sneaking around (living in fear)”. All of this helped her to grow and learn and she said she didn’t regret, it gave her power. This helped her to cultivate her own desire, learn to listen to and develop the language of her own body, and learned to sustain healthy intimacy. She’s not a slut for having sex at a young age, or for doing it with multiple men, or for doing it a lot. Like Walker said, sex and sexuality are a woman’s rights, and by exploring her own sexuality and pleasure she gained knowledge and thus power.
We shouldn’t be punished for what we want and crave. Young women feel powerless and shamed for giving in to their desires and having sex. Walker speaking about women being shamed for sex says “we are punished like Eve reaching for more knowledge”. That’s what we’re looking for when having sex for the first time, or multiple times with multiple men, it’s just knowledge of our own body and desires.
Parents won’t let their young girls go on birth control because they don’t want them to know anything about sex or dive into any sexual endeavors. Keeping birth control away from girls is not keeping them away from sex, it is just keeping them away from safe sex. We crave knowledge, and the best a kid is going to get is from their peers or TV which debases sex and humiliates women. TV makes sex look like something for a man, something that they take from a woman. Women need to know sex is their power, they take power they do not give it.
Sex is a knowledge that everyone needs to experience at their own time at their own pace. Someone might be ready to do it at eleven and someone else might not be ready until they are thirty. But who is to say what is right and wrong? According to society both of those are probably wrong. We can try to give as much knowledge as we can about sex but women will really gain knowledge about their own self identity and their likes/dislikes when they actually experience it.